I have the ugliest backyard... ever. Ever

Please ignore the rug; it’s been pressure washed and is coming back in.

Honestly, it wasn’t this bad before, but between the chickens eating all the grass, an unexpected pumpkin crop, and my son’s trampoline being overtaken by vines, we’ve gone from “a little rough” to “does this house even have an owner?” The weather this summer was brutal, with temperatures over 100°F almost every day, and I just couldn’t bring myself to go outside.

Now, I’m starting the long task of reworking the yard through the fall and winter (which isn’t really winter here; I live in a tropical climate, so winter is more like 60°F). We’re digging out the trampoline to give it away, but I’m left with an overwhelming amount of weeds.

Any recommendations on how to deal with them? We have a ground tiller, and I was thinking of using it to go over the area as much as possible, but I’ve never faced this kind of situation before. I’d really appreciate any advice!

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How would you recommend getting rid of them… We have a ground tiller and I was considering just running it over the ground as much as possible

Do not do that! Many weeds grow from cuttings, so doing this will just make them spread even more. What I’d do is take out all the good plants and then cover the whole yard with cardboard. Make sure it’s just plain brown shipping cardboard—no wax, no paint, no staples or tape. It’ll suffocate the weeds and seeds under it. After about a year, the cardboard will break down into compost, and the soil will be better for it. Alternatively, you can use layers of newspaper.

I know the idea of using weed cloth is tempting, but it’s a pain to rip up later. Trust me, it doesn’t work well.

After that, lay some cheap rope to create a pattern for your garden. You can put gravel in the middle area, mulch around the sides, and garden soil in the grassy areas. At this point, you’ll have already done 90% of the work! It can all be done over a weekend if you want.

Once that’s set up, start planting whatever you want, and you’ll be good to go!

I agree with using cardboard. It’s much easier and avoids spreading the weeds further.

Does cardboard work for ground elder (Aegopodium podagraria)? It grows back so fast from its roots, even a tiny bit left in the ground can cause it to come back.
It’s called ‘zevenblad’ or ‘tuinmansverdriet’ in Dutch. The second name translates to ‘gardener’s grief’…

In parts of the southern US, you can rent a goat herd to tackle weed problems like Kudzu!

Good luck!

I took pictures of the yard, then uploaded them to ChatGPT. I asked it to help me redesign the space with raised beds, chickens, seating, and a play area. It gave me a layout along with pages of advice about what plants would do well and what the garden setup needed. I tried a few different versions, but this one turned out to be my favorite.

The chicken in the pot is my favorite part!

I love how the giant chicken in the flower bed makes everything else look like a miniature set!

I’d love to know too! Looks cool.

If you’re tilling, remember to rake up the weeds. Like someone else said, tilling can spread them. Your plan looks great though. Maybe consider adding posts for shade cloth since it’s so hot where you are. Good luck!

If those vines are air potato, they can be a huge problem. You have to dig up the tubers, or they’ll come back. The weeds on the ground aren’t too bad, but you might have tree seedlings that need to go—especially the Tree of Heaven near your house. They’re tough to get rid of and will come back with roots. Use herbicide if necessary. Also, when planting, think about sunlight and water needs. For instance, lavender doesn’t need much water. I’d skip using gravel as mulch—it’s a hassle to maintain. Go for bark mulch instead. It works better for weed control.

This really isn’t that bad, to be honest. One day of work at most—probably just a good morning’s work!

It feels like a lot to me. It’s not a huge property, but with a disability, it’s still going to take a lot of work.

I hire help in the garden. It’s so much more efficient, and for $35 an hour, I get months of work done in one day. It’s totally worth it if you can afford it. You’ll be able to DIY the rest—building your beds and other projects.

Got it. If you have a disability, that changes things. Sorry about that. Don’t stress about weeds too much. The vines are the main issue, but the rest should be manageable. I’d recommend taking it slow. Don’t try to do everything all at once. Focus on one section, clear it, then move on to the next while you plant and watch things grow.

I’m staring at my 1000 sqft plot full of brambles, ivy, and dogwood saplings. :persevere:

Your design looks amazing! Maybe add some walking paths and seating areas to enjoy it more. I see you already have both though. D’oh! I would put the seating amongst the garden boxes, though—that’s just my preference.

Looks good to me!

It’s hard to tell the scale, but your redesign looks like the pathways might be too narrow, especially for wheelbarrow access. If your summers are hot, consider irrigation or shade cloth. Rainwater collection would also be a good idea if you can make space for tanks. A composting area and a small pond might be nice too, especially for wildlife. Keep us posted—it looks like you’re on track for something really beautiful!